27) [Mollie Ivins] "What do you mean cancer is a gift. You're as a dumb as Shrub. Cancer just killed me. Some gift."
Well, Molly, I didn't know you, but I will miss you. I'm sure if St. Peter doesn't have everything in working order, he'll be hearing from you shortly.
I know that you did say that "I'm sorry to say (cancer) can kill you, but it doesn't make you a better person."
I guess maybe we could split the difference and say it makes you a different person. When I found out I had cancer, I swore I wasn't going to be one of those people who said "oh, this made me a better person". It seemed a bit like say, "Yea, since they cut my leg off, I'm really good at hoping on one leg." Great.
Really, I didn't want to concede that I wasn't already enjoying life every day and so on. But still, I have to concede that it has changed me. How?
* I also feel more kinship with the handicapped. I'm embarrassed to say it, but I'm more likely to talk to someone in a wheelchair. It's embarrassing that I was so stupid, but I do know better what it's like to have someone stare at you. Really, I know I'm the same person and more than my patch.
* I'm more tolerant. With this gaping hole in the side of my head, I do better recognize my own shortcomings and failings.
* At the same time, I'm a little less patient professionally. If someone doesn't want to get with the program, I'm more likely to discard them. I do feel like life is too short to waste time on something that is either not productive or fun. I think this impatience is especially pronounced for my more senior colleagues.
* I'm more appreciative of my wife and family, to say the least.
* Again, this sounds trite, but I do enjoy every day and moment much more. Really, I just don't think about tomorrow. Who knows what bad news tomorrow will bring. I even went to the grocery store with my wife to shop today. Voluntarily. I just walked around the grocery store looking at the produce and the meat.
* I also have more empathy for the injured, ill and dying. Goodness, when I think about all the children in Iraq and children of our troops who have lost their fathers (and suffered the loss my children might one day suffer), it is hard to bear.
It's fair to say that it's been a heavy burden from time to time. I lost a bookmark at the church retreat (one I really liked), and I thought "damn, I'm just like that bookmark--here today, gone tomorrow". I also thought "Darnit, I'll never have another one like that in this life." Still, I try not to think that way very often and focus on the present. (My wife bought me another bookmark.)
* I have thought a lot about suffering more generally and realized I've suffered very little relative to the rest of humanity. I've tried to understand why and have thought about this issue for much of my life. In the end, I do feel a bit like Job. Job never got any answers to his questions, but he was a peace. *
So, Molly, I'd have to just disagree with you--I am a better person.
/m
* It is just moronic that the Bible can't be taught as literature in the schools. It's astounding for so-called educated agnostics not to have read the book of Job. And it's pathetic that religious people can't bear to have the material presented without cramming it down the throats of others.
I know that you did say that "I'm sorry to say (cancer) can kill you, but it doesn't make you a better person."
I guess maybe we could split the difference and say it makes you a different person. When I found out I had cancer, I swore I wasn't going to be one of those people who said "oh, this made me a better person". It seemed a bit like say, "Yea, since they cut my leg off, I'm really good at hoping on one leg." Great.
Really, I didn't want to concede that I wasn't already enjoying life every day and so on. But still, I have to concede that it has changed me. How?
* I also feel more kinship with the handicapped. I'm embarrassed to say it, but I'm more likely to talk to someone in a wheelchair. It's embarrassing that I was so stupid, but I do know better what it's like to have someone stare at you. Really, I know I'm the same person and more than my patch.
* I'm more tolerant. With this gaping hole in the side of my head, I do better recognize my own shortcomings and failings.
* At the same time, I'm a little less patient professionally. If someone doesn't want to get with the program, I'm more likely to discard them. I do feel like life is too short to waste time on something that is either not productive or fun. I think this impatience is especially pronounced for my more senior colleagues.
* I'm more appreciative of my wife and family, to say the least.
* Again, this sounds trite, but I do enjoy every day and moment much more. Really, I just don't think about tomorrow. Who knows what bad news tomorrow will bring. I even went to the grocery store with my wife to shop today. Voluntarily. I just walked around the grocery store looking at the produce and the meat.
* I also have more empathy for the injured, ill and dying. Goodness, when I think about all the children in Iraq and children of our troops who have lost their fathers (and suffered the loss my children might one day suffer), it is hard to bear.
It's fair to say that it's been a heavy burden from time to time. I lost a bookmark at the church retreat (one I really liked), and I thought "damn, I'm just like that bookmark--here today, gone tomorrow". I also thought "Darnit, I'll never have another one like that in this life." Still, I try not to think that way very often and focus on the present. (My wife bought me another bookmark.)
* I have thought a lot about suffering more generally and realized I've suffered very little relative to the rest of humanity. I've tried to understand why and have thought about this issue for much of my life. In the end, I do feel a bit like Job. Job never got any answers to his questions, but he was a peace. *
So, Molly, I'd have to just disagree with you--I am a better person.
/m
* It is just moronic that the Bible can't be taught as literature in the schools. It's astounding for so-called educated agnostics not to have read the book of Job. And it's pathetic that religious people can't bear to have the material presented without cramming it down the throats of others.
posted by Michael at
4:28 PM
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