20) [St. Bonaventure] It seems that you don't believe that God sends cancer and other suffering to teach us lessons. Whta kind of heretic are you?

"Suffering is like a kiss that Jesus hanging from the cross bestows on persons whom He loves in a special way. Because of this love He wants to associate them in the work of the redemption." St. Bonaventure

20) [St. Bonaventure asks] It seems that you don't believe that God sends cancer and other suffering to teach us lessons. You just want to cram God into some type of box with which your little modern mind can better cope. What kind of heretic are you?

Well, St. B., I take this idea more seriously than I did in the past.

Every day I pray the prayer of Julian of Norwich: "In His love He has done His works, and in His love He has made all things beneficial to us." I'm certain of the second part. I think this discussion boils down to the meaning of the first part.

Prior to getting cancer, I would have argued the following. God is like a good and perfect parent ("Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him?" Matthew 7:9-12).

So, as a parent, I tell my kids don't run with scissors all the time. That's an important lesson. However, I would not stick my leg out and just trip them so they could learn that lesson. I would prefer they not learn the hard way.

Another key part of my argument would be that God, in her infinite power and wisdom, has so many positive ways to teach us. The other part of the argument is that there are no lessons that can't be taught by some means other than suffering.

And it's there where I'm having second thoughts. I would say that cancer has taught me things that I could not learned any other way. Really, God was trying to teach me these lessons all along, but I was a poor pupil. I'm afraid I was too dense and too proud to absorb them.

So, where does it leave me? I still don't think God sends suffering, but I would be willing to concede that cancer has provided me with a unique learning opportunity.

What's striking in all this is that my preferred occupation would have been to have been a religion professor and to have pondered these questions (known as theodicy). I must say that I care less about the answer than I did in the past. Really, I'm convinced that Christ suffers along with us through our suffering, and that's what matters to me now. Maybe I have learned something.

August Cancer Survivor of the Month

EBSCOhost: "'I think when you have everything sort of under control, or you think you do, it's these turnaround or these pivotal moments that introduce you to yourself,' she says. When compared with the advanced cancer that Armstrong beat, or the devastation of Hurricane Katrina, Crow adds, 'what happened to me is pretty small. But the bottom line is all these events, these small or these huge catastrophic events in your life--I do think that that's where you really meet yourself. And then your life never looks or feels the same again. And it can only be better.'"

Yes, the first CSOM is Sheryl Crow. I was never a big fan, but her new album is splendid, and the quote is from a nice article in Vanity Fair.

Honestly, I suspect losing a bossom is like losing an eye, really. You've got a backup, and after you have children (in the case of the bossom), the part is largely for aeshetics (and of course, recreation).

(I have to say that my depth perception is just not getting any better. I tried to assemble a bed, which required lining up parts. I was never handy with tools, but this was pathetic. Oy.)