10) [Submitted by Randy Macho Man Savage] You've indicated that it's embarrassing being a man. Are you trying to tell me something?

No, Randy, I did not audition for a part in the new Ang Lee movie.

But, it is embarrassing being a man. I think I started feeling this way twenty years ago when a senior female faculty member told me that 25% of her counterparts had been sexually harrassed. I asked, "what do you mean, like men gazing down your shirt?" (I suppose that the figure for that would be 75%.) She replied, "No, I mean like 'hey, baby--sleep with me if you want to get tenure'."

I don't know what else to say. Men really are pigs or, on their best days, just primitive.

Can anyone doubt that we would not be in Iraq if women ran the world? Seriously. Even Laura Bush (no favorite of mine) would not have us over there.

I would add as an aside that if I were a woman, I'd be a lesbian and dispense with men altogether (!). My wife tells me that I'm not the first man to have a thing for lesbians. Hmmmm....